The secret life between a man and woman is a mystery that belongs only to them. It is never for others to judge, but rather to support and nurture the kernel of love that exists within each of them - unconditionally. Despite all of the cold and distant behaviors that visited your marriage, it survived afterall, even if barely. Despite all of the negativity and problematic relationships, misunderstandings and upheavals, I think you essentially acted honorably, with insight and principle. Let no one say otherwise - even Jane was not quite right in her condemnations. In her battered and beat-up heart I think she loved you too. I think she tried, as only she was able, to given her analyses and opinions, skewed as they were by her own imperfections. Neither of you was right and neither of you was wrong. Both did your best, which is all that can be asked of anyone.
To you and Jane I say, "Be of good cheer and know that you will be missed. Go on to your next adventure in life, as we all should do, with the knowledge and understanding of what we gain through experience with life - doing our best while realizing that we can always do better, and trying ever harder to live up to our full human measure. Atonement for past misdeeds is made complete by acts of love that are informed and strengthened by lessons learned and life endured on this soul-making planet."