NOTE TO READER:
Scroll down and read from bottom to top, as you would with any email string.
Jack wrote to all (except Fred, who voted early and asked me to stop sending him stuff):
10 Reasons Not to Vote
Jack wrote to Madeline:
I’m happy for you to
correct what you call my assumptions. However, if I have formed an opinion or
belief about anyone or anything it is always based on observable facts and an
intuitive sensibility. If I am wrong I welcome whatever you offer to help me
reassess whatever it is I have misinterpreted and misdiagnosed.
As for intra-family
communication problems, those are always two-way. I dare say there are likely
massive assumptions made about me by all of my siblings that are not accurate.
And so I urge you to consider this before you take the high ground again and then
fall back into self-referent ruminations on your work and your own therapeutic
musings.
But I already doubt
that this conversation will produce much in the way of understanding. I say
that because my framework of reality and yours (and that of our siblings) are
so radically different. I’ll listen, if you wish to tell me about yourself,
which I think is more than you would offer me. I say this because the sense I
get from your emails is that I am some sort of pathogenic entity that needs
healing, instead of a whole individual who has chosen his own
road-less-traveled but one that is just as viable none-the-less.
The only context you
offer is my assumption that you loathe Christianity. Granted, “loathe”
may have been too strong a descriptor. I might have phrased it differently, as
in you all have rejected your Faith. Picking and choosing certain ethical
guideposts that your Catholic upbringing provided to you is far from being a
Christian who seeks to be true to the gospels of Jesus. Instead I see that you
and your sisters have embraced a bundle of New Age diversions with perhaps some
Buddhist overlays wrapped in a more secularist or modernist outlook. To me it
has the flavor of spiritual materialism, but I don’t want to assume too much.
Your interpretation
of Christ and being Christ-like in your daily life impresses me as being a good
practice. I cannot agree more that being “up” and positive is preferable. What
puzzles me is that this approach works best as long as you are moving in a
circle within a bubble of your own comfort zone; step out of that and then
what? It may provide support and foundational functioning in the world and it
may not. We are always being tested and our experience is always undergoing
re-evaluation. Humans are works-in-progress. The more we apprehend the more we
must adjust our being to our "selves." I’d very much like to know how
to face lunacy, injustice, violence and evil with a positive happy-face. Even
Christ expressed righteous anger when throwing the money changers out of the
Temple—even God rested on the seventh day.
All of this to say
that your way, your path is fine for you but it’s your path; mine is different
but not inherently or necessarily lesser. And I can do my own work, thank you.
I don’t need you to do anything for me, Madeline. I have never asked you for
much of anything, have I? And you know why? I’ve never seen you as a “giver.”
And neither are my other siblings much good at being givers. It’s analogous to
your sense that one must be in possession of oneself in a positive way in order
to be of help to others—but “positive” in a more spiritual and
charitable sense, I suppose.
So, I guess we
better just forget trying to get anywhere with this… My writing is apparently
too burdensome for you to even read, let alone to apply yourself in answering;
and of course you must save your energy for your paying clients. I understand.
My first response to your email: "Here's an email from my siblings with
more than just a nonchalant shrug. It had some actual thinking and
substance." When I encounter something like this I like to sit with it for
a while and "ponder" it, perhaps re-reading it a few more times,
giving myself some incubation time before formulating a response. I did this
with an email that Claire sent me recently. I hope she shared that with
you.
I know you do not
wish me any harm Madeline and I do not mean to imply by this email that you do.
But you must understand that I believe in myself as much as you do, with
just as much passion and goodness, believe it or not.
Love,
Jack
Madeline wrote:
HI Jack-
I planned on responding to your email this morning. With my schedule I didn't even have time to read it in full until today. You probably are not aware, but when I work I see clients straight for 9 to 12 hours.
I don't even know where to begin as far as a response. In that email, you made so many assumptions that are not true. It's no wonder there are communication problems between you and me--and you and the rest of the family. I'm sorry if you saw my response to you as condescending. I'm so amazed with all that I have learned and am learning (and EXPERIENCING) as far neuroplasticity in the brain that I want to share it with everyone. I don't know what happened between your first response to my email and your second response to my email. I suspect that initially you received it in the way I intended and in your second response you did too much thinking and assuming. You created a negative narrative about me and my tone and intentions. Negative assumptions like that create division instead of union. I could go through and respond to the many things you said in your email but that would be a lot of work for me. It feels like you want me to do your work for you-to prove myself to you. I'm not interested in doing that. You talk about our Catholic upbringing and you ASSUME that we have a loathing for it. Where did that assumption come from? I feel like I was able to cull many positive things from my Catholic upbringing. As far as Christ, my view is that he was so loving of the goodness that is in all of us that people were healthy and whole when they were with him. Everyday I start my morning with journaling about all of the people, things, events, I appreciate; and sometimes I also meditate. So when I go into my day I feel appreciative and loving and I have positive expectations. Most of the time, my day flows smoothly and I have very satisfying and uplifting experiences with clients, family, strangers. Now I feel like life is very simple: when I awake in the morning-every morning-my intention is to feel loving and appreciative. I'm aware that I will not always feel that way; and i'm aware that things will knock me off balance, but I always know how to realign myself. I can't be of any help to my clients if I do not feel good. I can also put this in Christian terms-and this was my thesis on the Canterbury Tales: in the Old Testament we followed God's commandments that came from outside of us. In the New Testament we learn that we can internalize those commandments by connecting with that loving part of us-the law of love within. That's all for now.
Love,
Madeline
Jack wrote to
Madeline:
No reply?
Vote Democrat:
Jack
Jack wrote to Madeline:
Madeline,
After sparsely sparring with me, your comedic wit quickly gave way to the clinical approach and you offered neuroplasticity for what ails me. A bit condescending and presumptive yourself, don’t you think? That is, a pronouncement from on high (albeit well-intentioned) suggesting that I accept my siblings’ diagnosis that I am awash in hate and negativity and how I might cure myself in order to better cope, socially. I guess my “social credit score” has nose-dived, at least from the perspective of the family, to the “unacceptable” level. Of course that’s nothing new.
That first paragraph may sound condescending. But what if it is meant as a truthful observation, then what of it? By the way, I reviewed all of my comments in that last email string for condescending and presumptive language. I didn’t find much there. Though my remarks can be “biting” I would not classify them as you did. Do I respect my siblings? (I was a little rough on Susie and Jennifer.) I suppose that could make for an interesting topic, though bracketed for now.
I accept that there are effective treatment modalities for improving effectiveness in one’s career, better health, control and satisfaction in relationships, and contentment in general with one’s self in the world. I don’t doubt that self-training in neuroplasticity can be beneficial to get one out of a state of chronic negativity or depression. I recall you mentioning it before and I found it to be interesting. In fact, I had gotten myself into a real negative cul de sac early in my “research” (c. 2007-2012) as I uncovered tons of secret knowledge and assorted evil-doing. I found I had to stand back from that and be more cautious with my immersion, especially in exaggerated, unsourced, or speciously-sourced articles. In other words, I believe I was learning to hone my discernment ability and to place boundaries on my intuition and imagination (if the latter is possible, but I think you know what I’m trying to say).
Eventually, I brought myself out of my slough of despond and was ever on-guard afterwards against this sort of thing. Yes, you can become so entangled in conspiratorial thinking that your whole being gets all warped and mangled as you obsessively self-project outward onto the many boogeymen that are out there. I’m quite aware of this weird phenomenon. I had to learn the hard way via an experiential, heuristic-type of process. Is there some residual? Perhaps. When one studies areas that are by their nature occluded, hard evidence is often elusive, fragmentary, and circumstantial. (I have quite often wished that I had majored and specialized in symbology and art history like Dan Brown’s intrepid Prof. Robert Langdon character. But alas! I did not.)
All this to say that I still get carried away a bit by a righteous anger at the socio-cultural malaise that is upon us; that the people have essentially served (and daily offer themselves up) as guinea pigs of political engineering and corporate manipulation. To witness the harm it has done to us is to almost despair for the future. Instead, I find solace in my religio-spiritual convictions in the gospel of Jesus and the wisdom of the ages; in time-tested tradition topped off with a bit of psychonautical inner space exploration; in blues and Jimi Hendrix, as it were. Still, it is difficult to witness the many servitors of Mammon, witting and unwitting, of Earthly things, desires, in physical, mental and transhuman existence—all the while wondering just how I am really doing.
Currently. politics is at center stage, with the midterm elections just one week away. The family might extend some understanding of this and forgive me my trespasses, my exuberance and my excitement that maybe, just maybe we finally have a leader as solid as Andrew Jackson (who you refer to as a “buffoon”) and will finally get a motivated Congress behind him. If you think Trump is a buffoon then I seriously question how “well-informed” you are on his accomplishments to date. And if you are not well-informed, then neither will be your opinions.
Yes, we are each on his or her own path. I just find it hard to respect opinions that are so “Montgomery County.” Come up to Trump Country in Somerset, for example; drive a tractor-trailer through the Midwest and experience the friendly, “non-coastal, non-callous sophisticates” that live there; work in Asia and get a sense of what other places and cultures are like and what they have to offer (instead of the weak-kneed “multi-culturalism” foisted on Americans here); do some hard manual labor among Hispanics and less privileged whites—you’ll soon leave the Democrat “progressive” plantation, believe me.
My neural roadmap is less tied to the brain and inheres more in my Christian values. And candidly, one of the concerns that I have about my sisters (and Kip) is this new loathing you all have for the Faith of your upbringing in favor of dabbling in the occult, particularly in psychics and séances. As one who explored some more esoteric realms myself I can appreciate going down that road. However, it’s one thing to explore and another to be captivated. I heard rumors about the trip you all took to Ashville, NC recently. Of course none of you dare to share that with the likes of me or your other brothers. I wonder why. If you are worried about being mocked and derided you won’t get that from me. Instead I’d just like to know what you all discovered and find out why it is you are out there looking for such things. But I haven’t asked because it seems plain that it’s none of my business. All I know is that without a sound guide devoted to God, the occult can be a real bear trap.
And so, while I respect your paths (or group path) I don’t feel compelled to hold my tongue. I don’t think that I should pretend that I feel any other way than how I feel. I do try to be as courteous and sociable as I can. Respectful? I respect that you all have found your career paths and that you are courteous to me. But let’s face it, besides growing up together I find that I have very little else in common with any of my brothers and sisters. And none of you seem very interested in my life, my family, my interests, my books, my blogs, my spiritual or political beliefs—why pretend if there is not much of a sympatico there?
So, why do I email you what I find interesting? Am I trying to evangelize you all with my spiritual and “fascist” political beliefs? I guess I am and I suppose I shouldn’t. But I think it’s a natural tendency for one to want to share something of value with loved ones. And when that is ignored or rejected out-of-hand it’s more bad manners than anything else as far as I’m concerned. I try to ignore the benign neglect, probably as much as you all try to ignore my futile attempts to communicate insights into my world that I offer to you. I just keep forgetting that none of you are much interested in my world—or maybe you think I have an ulterior motive or I’m being pedantic—who knows? I’ll never really quite understand why that is. Sometimes I wonder if you all are envious (not of my poverty of course). Maybe I’ve just scared you all off just once too many times.
In any event, I don’t mean any of you any harm and I wish you all just the opposite.
Love,
Jack
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jennifer wrote:
Did that comment make you feel good? Apparently what
Madeline said or what anyone has said to you went over your head.
Jack wrote:
ATTN: Madeline
Therapist needed at 5706 Bradley
Jennifer wrote:
Jack, sadly you have
no idea that Jane apologized to me before she died. She told me that she
realized she was wrong about me. You can only hope your siblings will feel the
same about you some day, but this is highly doubtful. Regardless of the
incredibly terrible things you've done to me, I'm still respectful toward you.
I would have thought you would have outgrown your desperate need to
belittle others in your futile attempt to feel powerful. All of us have
outgrown this so isn't it time to let go of your continual attempts at
"fake power". It inevitably has the polar opposite affect -
that of a fool.
Madeline wrote:
Now why did you have
to be critical and judgmental? Can’t you just observe and move on without
making judgments? Or better yet, find something to appreciate about
Susie. Maybe you don’t realize what you’re doing? I would like to give
you the benefit of the doubt.
Jack wrote:
Classic Susie: wait until the controversy
subsides somewhat, then come in with conciliatory fluff (except with regard to
me; of course I'm full of hate and negativity). Thanks for ever guiding
us, oh tepid eldest!
Susie wrote:
Well I finally had
time to read the stream. I miss Jane - it's a pain in my heart. So
hard to believe it's been 10 years! I talk to her on my walks and
sometimes when I meditate. I feel she is there with support, guidance,
and love. I agree wholeheartedly with Fred and Madeline - not feeling
able to express my distress about the negativity and hatred you espouse,
Jack. Instead of this, can we please unite in our love and missing of our
Jane? Can we love each other and accept that we are different, but still
respect and support each other?
Love to you all,
Susie
Jack wrote:
Now there's
something worth pondering.
Thank you, Madeline!
Madeline wrote:
Jack-
What is most unacceptable about your
attitude that shows through in what you write and send is that you have no
respect for your siblings. You are condescending and presumptive.
Just because we don’t engage in discourse with you does not mean that we are
not well informed and that we don’t have opinions.
If you want to engage with us, approach
us with positive expectation and appreciation. I had a dream about Jane
about 5 years ago. In the dream she came out from behind a curtain and
she was beautiful and beaming and she held open her arms and said “aren’t you
going to hug me”? After that I started on a new path that enriched my
life immensely-that’s when I started my Appreciation blog. I learned
about the neuroplasticity of the brain and discovered that if you spend time in
negative states you create neural pathways in your brain so that it’s easier
and easier to get into negative states and stay there. Also, the more you
stay in negative states the less healthy you are-your heart rate variability
goes down and that sets off an avalanche of negative biological responses that
eventually lead to disease. So I have learned to practice being in
positive states by writing about things that bring up positive states-and by
meditating-thereby creating new neural pathways in the brain and constant high
heart rate variability. And the other benefits are I have created an
internal locus of control meaning that no matter what happens I am resilient-I
know how to return to my center and restore homeostasis; I spend more
time being Present with others which feels deeply satisfying. This is why
I can see 10 or 11 clients a day and feel energized all day long. These
practices have also led to deeper, loving connections with people, with Nature-but
most importantly with myself. Also, research shows that when you are in
more positive states you’re more creative-you find solutions to problems more
easily. AND research shows that people (and animals) want to be around
you when you’re centered, present and feeling love and appreciation. I realize
that you are on your path and I respect that-you have had experiences that have
led you to where you are today. But just realize we are all on our own
paths which have led us to make choices and decisions. Start to notice
the contrast of how you feel when you are being judgmental or critical to how
you feel when you are appreciative and understanding. Maybe that one
practice will spark something for you.
Love,
Madeline
On Tue, Oct 30, 2018 at 5:42 AM Jack wrote:
She had your number for sure, Jennifer. It's good you didn't
end up hating her for that.
Jack wrote:
Fred,
It's funny. Jane's
blunt remarks to me were often offensive and made me feel sad. She never
hesitated to say what she meant---and she meant what she said. She held strong
opinions about a lot of things, including my own personal failings. So she was
hard to take, but I took it and wrestled with it. And I think she helped me
understand certain things about myself over time. She had a strongly
inquiring mind that went in many directions---income tax, ETs,
supplements, nutrition---and she saw through the phoniness Democrat servitor
frauds. Like many researchers, she may have been taken in by disinformation
trolls, but at least she was exploring vistas of knowledge and wisdom
traditions that are out there and worth looking at. She was never one to shrink
from doing anything either, like landscaping her property or rehabbing her
house. That's what I miss about Jane and those are qualities I admire.
I'm full of
political energy because that's what's happening out there right now as we come
up to the most pivotal election since 2016. I always hope and pray that those
closest to me will somehow wake up, or at least engage me on issues instead of
mouthing platitudes and simply hating Trump based on nothing but
irrational personal animus. I stopped sending you most stuff long ago, Fred,
due to your benign neglect. How far that goes I'll never know.
Jack
On Tue, Oct 30, 2018 at 5:26 AM Jennifer wrote:
I agree with you Fred, we’ll put! I find pennies all
of the time and place them in cracks in the cherry wood owl sculpture in our
front yard that we created in Jane’s honor. I miss her too!
Jack wrote to Kip:
Et tu Brute it is then.
On Tue, Oct 30, 2018 at 7:44 AM Kip wrote to Jack:
Yes, Donald, let’s generalize about liberals so we can
de-humanize them enough to hate them, and then maybe even kill them. Hail
the Fuhrer!!
Jack wrote to Kip:
Et tu, Kip?
On Oct 29, 2018, at 10:44 PM, Fred wrote:
Jack, I really find it offensive and sad that in a forum where we are honoring
the memory of our sister Jane, that you feel the need to inject your political
thoughts. This is totally unacceptable and I think we all know your political
leanings. If you support your candidate and his party, fine - Vote
for your candidates. But this over zealous and obsessive ranting is
off-putting. You seem to see everything through a your political
prism and espouse hate and condescension toward any who don’t agree with you.
Frankly, I am sick and tired of your extremist crusade. Please stop
sending me your political emails and videos. I already voted in the
midterm election. I voted for candidates I feel best represent my
views. You remind me of a religious evangelist trying to convert people to your
religion, or even worse, a fascist.
Enough is enough....
Fred
Jack wrote:
Now I'm seeing where Claire got her propensity toward cheer-leading.
On Oct 29, 2018, at 8:40 PM, Rosemary wrote:
So nice Fred!
On Oct 29, 2018, at 8:10 PM, Fred wrote:
Me too. I see her dreams often. Sometimes in a dream I just feel her
presence. I guess that’s the twin connection.
Jack wrote:
Excuse me?
What planet are you on?
I'd say it's quite the other way around.
But then, you still watch TV.
I understand your disability.
Shall we consult our dead relatives?
Jane, come in, your sisters need help! (Lots of it...)
Madeline wrote:
On Mon, Oct 29, 2018 at 7:29 PM Madeline wrote:
Yes!! Like a Buffoon of a president made Impotent by
a democratic house and senate!!!
Jack wrote:
Oh, it's Madeline!
Glad to know you've left the Ouija board long enough to hint
at the possibility of belief in something more "uplifting."
Jack wrote:
Emogi-speak?
Come on Rosemary, you can do better than that!
On Mon, Oct 29, 2018 at 7:35 PM Rosemary wrote:
[four emoji smiling faces]
On Mon, Oct 29, 2018 at 7:21 PM Madeline wrote:
I’m pretty sure that Jane now has an omniscient view and is
therefore a Democrat. 
On Oct 29, 2018, 7:15 PM Kip wrote:
I did think about Jane yesterday, and politics did not cross
my mind in the least.
Kip
On Oct 29, 2018, at 7:11 PM, Jack wrote:
Way ahead of her time
On Mon, Oct 29, 2018 at 7:07 PM Rosemary wrote:
My message is taken a detour.
On Oct 29, 2018, at 7:00 PM, Kip wrote:
Republicans have lost their way.
Kip
On Oct 29, 2018, at 6:27 PM, Jack wrote:
Jane would vote Republican if she were still alive today.
For sure. And so should all of you---in her memory.
On Oct 29, 2018, at 5:57 PM, Rosemary wrote:
Yesterday was the 10 year anniversary of Jane’s death. I still find pennies in
the oddest places and they always remind me of her.
I miss Jane so much!
Love,
Rosemary
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